Blog

07Jul 2025 by Jenny

The CAPER Dynamics of Abuse

Control, anger, power, entitlement, and revenge (CAPER) are five powerful dynamics that allow someone to be abusive to another. These dynamics, interestingly, can be used against oneself, also. For example, if I make a mistake and embarrass myself, and I could be along or with others, I may say, “how can I be so stupid! You are an idiot!” That is part of me that is turning on myself to shame me and undermine my own integrity. Can I make mistakes? Yes, all the time, every day. Should I be aware of my mistakes? Absolutely. Should I take responsibility for my mistakes? Most assuredly. But there is a way to do that without undermining my own character. I have just used the power of part of my personality to shame…
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22Nov 2017 by Jenny

I am the Tree

I just finished reading one of my favorite books, LAB GIRL, by Hope Jahren.  She grew up in Austin, Minnesota and has become a scientist.  Her main focus of research is trees.   And she is filled with metaphors about trees and light. "People are like plants:  they grow toward the light."  Such a lovely metaphor, I think, for our desire as humans to understand ourselves, others, the meaning and source of life. I think it is one of the reasons people come to therapy.  Something along the way in life has brought clouds of doubt, depression, anxiety, any number of life situations that can obscure the path, can obstruct what one felt like the direction one's life was taking. Hope Jahren studies these little seeds that fall from trees…
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