The CAPER Dynamics of Abuse
Control, anger, power, entitlement, and revenge (CAPER) are five powerful dynamics that allow someone to be abusive to another. These dynamics, interestingly, can be used against oneself, also. For example, if I make a mistake and embarrass myself, and I could be along or with others, I may say, “how can I be so stupid! You are an idiot!” That is part of me that is turning on myself to shame me and undermine my own integrity. Can I make mistakes? Yes, all the time, every day. Should I be aware of my mistakes? Absolutely. Should I take responsibility for my mistakes? Most assuredly. But there is a way to do that without undermining my own character. I have just used the power of part of my personality to shame…